The Ohio DMV

I’ve got NaNo on the brain. I’m constantly thinking about the story line, where it’s going, writing loglines for each chapter, planning and plotting in my head. When I’m away from the computer, I still think about it.

Until my darling husband decides to go on a rage.

Picture this: We go to get our new drivers licenses for Ohio. Nope, can’t get it until we go to the next town and take the written test. OK. We do it. I pass, missing one question. He passes, missing three. (I’ll let that one slide). Take the vision test. Pass. But, oh wait. We’re both diabetic, so now we have to get a doctor’s OK that we can drive, because, gee, we might pass out while we’re driving. Fine. Two weeks later (today) we go to the doctor, he fills out the paperwork. We go back to the DMV. “We don’t know what to do with this form. You have to go back where you took the test.” Drive to the next town. Relinquish forms. Go to get license. The woman leans forward and lowers her voice. “Honey, you can’t get a license. You didn’t pass the test.” YES, I DID! I missed one question! What the hell??? “Well, let me go next door to the testing office and check.” Fingertips drumming so loud, the man next to me looked over and sidled away. Woman returns. “Yes you did pass. It just wasn’t in the system yet.” YAY! Process begins. Sign here, sign there, wait a minute. I don’t have five names. First name, former middle name, maiden name, previous married name, current name. WTF? “Umm, excuse me. This is my legal name.” I show her. “Well that’s not what the DMV tells me.” AHHHHH. She changes it, I get my license. All is well.

Wait. My husband is sitting there, waiting for me. “I can’t get my license. I have to get a new social security card because my mother laminated mine, and my birth certificate is not an original copy.” That’s when he blew up. Right there in the DMV. The government was a Nazi regime, the people who worked there were all hicks . . . I dragged him out before they arrested him.

What do I care? I have MY license. And I’ve got to go home and write. “Come on, dear. Time to go home and cool off. Have a beer. Better yet, go in the basement and leave me alone. Love ya!”

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1 Comment

  1. tinapollick said,

    December 22, 2012 at 8:40 am

    I love this!

    I’m from MI, but live in KY. In MI you can go any DMV office to get your license. Here in KY you can only go to the county you live in.

    We live in a town, that belongs to one county, but because we are on the border we are technically part of another county. We didn’t know that or the process when we first came here. We made several trips too, and my husband was just as charming.

    BTW I passed mine with only missing, my husband… yeah he missed more. 🙂


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