Backstabbing 101

Today, we’re going to learn a lesson in backstabbing. There’s a right way and there’s a wrong way.

Let’s call our two antagonists Person X and Person Y. They dislike each other. Have for years, but face-to-face, they are sweet as Momma’s Apple Pie. Sickly sweet. Honey dripping down your fingers sweet. Bleh.

Wrong way:

Instant Message: “Person C, did you hear the latest on Person Y? That bitch just told Person M that Person Q is now dating Person P and they’re doing the nookie. Damn her, I’m dating Person P and we got this thang going. How dare she spread lies to all my friends!”

Reply: “How many instant message boxes do you have up, Person X?”

Instant Message: “Bout ten. U?”

Reply: “Only one. Yours. Oh, and by the way, this is Person Y.”

Wrong, wrong, wrong. Never become so involved with ten different people that you don’t remember who you’re Instant Messaging. Ever.

Right way:

Instant Message: “Hi, Person B. How are you?”

Reply: “Fine, Person X. U?”

Instant Message: “Good, good. Umm, what’s up?”

Reply: “Well, Person B is now getting it on with Person Y, and Person N is dating Person G, who also is going out with Person Y. Other than that, nothing much.”

Instant Message: “Who is this again?”

Reply: “Person B.”

Instant Message: “Oh, well in that case, I don’t know what anyone sees in Person Y, she’s such a . . .”

So, what lesson did you learn today? Always make sure the person you’re talking to is not the person you’re talking about.

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