I Wish

I Wish

 

I wish I was three again

And my brother would have let me go with him

To play with his friends.

He would have taken my hand,

Kept me safe.

He would have kept me from chasing butterflies

Instead of not paying attention to

Where I was going.

Safe in the cocoon of his protection

I never would have broken my arm.

Mom wouldn’t have been angry

And he would love me still.

 

I wish I was sixteen again

When I still knew how to say no.

To a time it didn’t matter

If he paid attention to me or not.

The bloom of first love

Kept me enthralled

As he led me down a path

Not of my choosing,

But of desire.

He promised to love me forever

In the soul of his heart.

I didn’t know forever meant tomorrow

Or that all my tomorrows were forever.

 

I wish I was thirty again

When the world was wide open

And the only thing I had to worry about

Was the open, empty road ahead.

One I knew I could fill with happiness

And love if only given a chance.

Not believing in the cruelness of others

As they swarmed through my life

And pushed their way past

To further theirs,

Naive to the ways of strangers

And believing in the intrinsic goodness

I was sure lived inside everyone.

 

I wish I was fifty again

To experience joys and trials

With a greater wisdom than before.

To know, without fear, the right path

Is only an hour away, but I will never reach it,

Too busy to look, too blind to trust,

Too foolish to realize the gift that was within my grasp.

Setting aside the wants and needs of myself

Unable to quench the torment

A lifetime of choices that taunt me into

Reflections of what is and what might have been.

 

I wish I was seventy again

Safe in the knowledge of a life well lived,

True to myself and my loved ones

Though living in constant worry that

I did not do enough with my life.

Looking back at all the hurt inflicted

By myself and others which I could have changed,

The restless spirit of self

Pushes me to do more, feel more,

Pass more on to calm those who need.

The longer I live, the more I doubt

The true meaning of life is a job well done

But rather the drifting of an essence

From one to another

Sending the message of hope, patience, and love.

 

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1 Comment

  1. Petra Aston said,

    June 1, 2012 at 9:58 am

    Do you want to say “cruelness”, not “cruelty”?
    I do like it.


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